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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 19, 2010 21:31:11 GMT -5
Kendra shook her head. "Don't jinx yourself. They already know of my mission. My rebel tat explains itself." she said quite seriously. She then smiled. "Wasn't aware I fell under the category of a good conversationalist. I feel warm and fuzzy now." she commented.
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"Yes, yes, I know." Casper sighed boredly, playing with a rock. His zombie-like gaze was incredibly observant. Especially since it was not even alcohol-induced. Casper was perfectly sober. "If they were, though they are not - really rather unobservant actually- - very much so. Tragic. Tragically so, I'll admit..." his maddened voice spun itself into a slow decrescendo until a sudden, nonsensical silence ceased any noise from the older boy. "Vendetta's hugs are better!" Chico continued to wail with the new reminder, now seeming even louder and more toddler-like. "I want Vee back!" he continued to sob, choking on his spit and snot.
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 21, 2010 22:07:13 GMT -5
"yo jinxed my jinx so i'm fine." i said proudly. "and compared to the scientists, a rock is a better conversationalist." i said, smiling sadly, my thumb rubbing over X's picture. ---------------- "then go hug a tree!" X snapped, his attempt of being nice failing miserably. "i barely give hugs. i'm pretty sure that Casper gets more hugs than i do!" he growled, grumbling as he stormed over to the fire. Tori walked in, her face neutral, with a dark tint to her eyes. they focused on Chico. "she isn't coming back. ever. she's probably dead right now. rotting. her corpse on a slab as they disect her every little bit." Tori said with a monotone, watching him. she turned to Casper, standing across from him. she put her foot on the rock he was observing, watching him.
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 21, 2010 22:23:34 GMT -5
Kendra laughed. "Was that intended to be a comeback or just a statement of a fact?" she asked.
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"No! Don't go!" Chico yelled at Xavier. After Tori's remark, he only cried louder and ran after the wolf boy, still wailing miserably. It was beginning to become obvious why Nick had wanted to eat him. Casper flinched. It seemed as if with Tori's foot coming down on the rock, his mind had suddenly flashed to another, more horrible place before coming back and settling lke a kicked puppy. "Hi." he stated, his voice like a ghost coming from his lips.
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 21, 2010 22:32:46 GMT -5
"yes." I said, smirking. -------- Tori flipped the rock up, catching it in her hand. she inspected it with calculating eyes. "hello." she said, not glancing at him. "what is paticularly interesting about this paticular rock?" she asked, her voice dead but her eyes alive and cold. they focused on Casper as X turned and glared at Chico. "go. hug. a. tree." he growled.
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 21, 2010 22:40:40 GMT -5
"Nothing." Casper replied, trying to keep his voice calm and collected. It wasn't working. He was not meeting her eyes. It was odd that to someone he once acted lovingly toward, he now seemed a stranger to, and more frightened than anything. It was clear that he was doing everything in his power not to make eye contact. "It just happens to reflect the moon in such a way that it merits notice and tends to hold the gaze...It's...it's..." his voice faded away, increasing in pitch and there was a look of fear in his eyes. He suddenly stood. "I gotta...have to...I gotta go...I gotta leave...for a little...now." he stammered, wiping his hands nervously on his jeans and turning to the trees. Chico grabbed on to Xavier's leg. he sniffed, momentarily pausing in his wailing, though still crying. "You're big enough." he told Xavier, likening the wolf boy's massive size to a tree.
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 21, 2010 22:46:05 GMT -5
Pain took over the ice in Tori's eyes, and she watched him run away with sadness. she turned and flopped on his seat, turning the rock over in her hands, watching it intently to get rid of the pain. she turned, flinging it in Casper's direction. "there's your rock." she groaned to herself, putting her head in her hands. Whisper sat down next to her and gave her a hug. X looked at Chico. "you don't sleep on me though, so i am not a tree." he paused for a moment. "and you're not changing the prior statement's truth."
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 21, 2010 22:57:25 GMT -5
Some man you are, Casper addressed himself. The first sign of your girlfriend reacting to what's happened and you freak. Lovely. What a knight in shining armor! Loser in tin foil. Cliche idiot to have thought to have thought of that. Like a puppy with a tail in between its legs. You know, if She came here, you'd probably run away screaming and sacrifice Tori to Her. I wouldn't doubt it. Don't put it past him.
He continued on, his mind and what had been a skill turning against him like a bloodthirsty enemy. Casper's eyes welled with tears and he dropped his face into his hands. Out of the corner of his eye, a grey fleck caught his eye. Two grey flecks. rock more rocks. Seized with a suden impulse, he grabbed the two, thrusting them together and wearing one rock down on both edges. Forming a very sharp point.
Coward.
But his mind wasn't stopping him.
"Please?" Chico asked, looking up with big, child-like, puppy-dog eyes.
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 21, 2010 23:14:25 GMT -5
Whisper sat there, still hugging Tori until Xavier growled and stormed off somewhere to cry. "you have to go to him." she murmured. "he's beating himself up within his mind." "he won't even look me in the eye." she said, her voice deadpan as she stared at her hands. when she looked at Whisper, her eyes were filled with pain, regret, and confusion. "is it wrong what i did?" "no. you did what your heart told you to. he's just a very...closed...person. give him time, but don't let up." she said, and stood, going off to try and rest. the contact with Ven had worn her out. Tori sat there for a long time, her mind turning over words and thoughts in her head. she went over to the rock and picked it up, turning it over in her hands. she made a decision and ran.
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 22, 2010 15:47:31 GMT -5
Casper dropped the stone he had been using to sharpen the other and carefully poked the latter with his finger. It hurt. It was sharp enough, all right.
Tori will probably be very upset She'll get over it. Maybe. Perhaps. She'll eventually have enough sense to break up with you anyway. You're not exactly every woman's dream. Far from it. Surprising she did run for the hills when she saw the scars. But she might not. She might actually like you, if that's the case. So dying wouldn't make her happy. But it's safer for her. And me. The both of us. Still not pleasant. Pleasant doesn't really matter at this point.
Casper looked back down at the sharpened rock, pressing it to his wrist. He frowned. That would take a while. And it wasn't a guarantee. He wanted finality.
Sure. Do it that way. Slit your wrists. You know, statistically speaking, more girls than guys tend to use that anyway. For you, it's probably more appropriate.
He paused before lifting the sharp rock to his neck. He could feel his pulse and hear it in his ears as he pressed the sharpedge of the rock against the skin of where his artery would surely be. He paused a moment, making sure that was indeed the place that would prove fatal upon being severed.
Coward.
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 22, 2010 23:06:19 GMT -5
"NO!" Tori screamed, seeing the rock move from his wrist to his neck. she dropped to all fours and ran, tackling into Casper and landing on top of him. she stole the rock, flinging it as far away from the two as possible. when she looked back down at Casper, tears were streaming in her eyes. "no..." she whispered, hugging him and sobbing softly. "please...not you too...don't leave me...this pack is breaking apart. i need someone i can rely on to not leave me...even Vee left me in the end..." she sobbed, her words broken by tears and sobs. she looked him in the eyes, holding his face steady to make eye contact. "why?" she whispered.
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 23, 2010 15:30:52 GMT -5
Casper panicked at first. He was being tackled. Why? By whom? What was going on? His arm jutted out, but stopped upon realizing it was Tori. Looking up, he saw her expression and her tears. It did not take a sixth animal sense to know what she was feeling at that moment. Again, his perceptive mind did nothing to help him, pointing out every little detail that would amplify how horrified and upset his girlfriend felt. "I'm sorry." he murmured, yet he did not sound it. He was sad and hurt of how much pain he had caused her, but he was not sorry for what he had tried to do. He began to move his arms up to hug her, but stopped and let them fall to the ground lifelessly. He sighed sadly, silent for some time. "Because. I'm a coward." he responded simply. He gulped before stammering on. "Look, Tori, you need security. I'm anything but secure. Look at where we are now." he paused and choked a little. "I can't do this anymore." he shook his head, referring to life. It was clear that despite Tori, he had no motivation to live. "By being alive, I'm just dead weight. I'm totally useless. there's no benefits of me going on. I'm only making things worse for all of you anyway."
You're such a girl.
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 24, 2010 16:45:09 GMT -5
the pain in Tori's eyes hardened in cold understanding. she smacked him, and then kissed his cheek, the coldness melting away. "did that wake you up?" she asked, kissing him softly. "you're insane if you think you're weighing us down. you're one of the more stable people in this insane little pack. you're family. if you're dead, it would only be more pain. i--we love you, Cas. we're here for you. you're not dead weight. if we can deal with Chico, i think we can deal with you." she said, and kissed him before he could argue.
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 24, 2010 16:54:45 GMT -5
Casper pulled away. "Not woken up yet...Not going to be. There's nothing to wake up to." he replied, murmuring the last two sentences. He laughed bitterly, his eyes flashing with a foreign presence for a split second. It was a reckless, insane one, but it was quickly gone. "Tori, you've known me less than a month. I know I'm not dead weight." He paused and grinned to himself at the ironic term. "Hell, I wish I was dead weight." he laughed, though his statement was more alarming than amusing. "I'm alive. Far too alive. And I don't know what's up with this deal, or what's up with Zipporah, but I don't think anything is completely secure at the moment." Casper looked down, studying the ground. "No, no...I don't." he murmured before looking back up. "And you have not seen me on a normal day. I live with periods of anxiety, PTSD, and flashbacks. In between are the periods where things seem okay or just ritualistic. otherwise, I'm nuts." He clenched his teeth and shook his head. "You don't need the dangers being with me provides. You don't need the nervousness of wondering if your boyfriend is going to be all right today or if he's going to have a flashback and start flipping out during dinner...I don't either. I don't want that. I want to be able to look at people and see them for who they are. Not how my freak mind is making them look." he finished quietly. "You're seventeen. You're beautiful in more ways than one. You can find someone much better than I am."
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Post by illyxmusicxloverx on Dec 24, 2010 21:46:22 GMT -5
she stared at him for a long time, the words sinking into her head. and then, she began to giggle. it started out soft, a small smile creeping onto the corners of her mouth. then, the smile grew, the laughter turning into full force hysterics. when she finally calmed down, she wiped a tear from laughter from her eye. "Cas, you don't seem to realize that you ARE one of the most stable ones here. so what if it's been a month? do you really think we care about you so little as to stand by and let you take your life? do you think I would? if so, you need to start thinking about how oblivious you are and re-check your observation skills." she kissed his nose, several emotions swirling in her eyes. one of which was understanding. "I'm schizophrenic. i have people in my head that take over at a moments notice, jumping my emotions around more than a child playing double dutch. I'm batshit crazy. and you deal with that. you don't see the insanity that's in my eyes. you don't care that i have a big fluffy tail sticking out above my ass, or the fact that i have cat ears on my head, or the fact that i just jumped through about a dozen emotions in the past ten minutes. you accept me, Cas. do you really think I'm going to let such a sweet, crazy, observant, wonderful guy like you take yourself out of this world?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and touching her forehead to his, making him look at her. right at the edge of her eyes, was the insanity she spoke about.
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Post by Cheyenne on Dec 25, 2010 0:36:33 GMT -5
Casper shook his head. "You should. I don't belong here." he said quietly, unable to look her in the eyes once again, though a single hand rested on her cheek gently. "It's not that simple; that easy." hi voice broke. "I've been trying to die since I was four, but they would always bring me back. I'm not stable. I'm broken and irreparable. I'm not even a man anymore and if something bad was going to happen to you, I could not guarantee that I could do anything to stop it. I'm a coward. I'm not like Xavier or Raven, or I'd even go so far as to say Nick. Vendetta or Zipporah, and they're girls. Because they can shove emotions aside enough to at least do something. And I can't even look at you." he stated. "I can't do that. I can't do this in good conscience..." his voice was breaking even further. "You don't understand. What's out there. What I'm afraid of. I can't even say the woman's name, how could I defend you if I had to?" he wondered out loud. "It's better if I'm not here. It eliminates the problem. Problems. All of them. Chiefly, me." He looked up at Tori, having no choice as her head touched his. He close his eyes and could not help but wrap his arms around her, as if to pull her closer if such were possible. "You're strong. I'm not. You're not...insane, crazy...You're beautiful. There may be parts of your mind that are not normal and you may not be completely human, but you're absolutely wonderful in and out... It's not a matter of me being sweet as to accept you...It's a matter of being intelligent and selfish. Intelligent because to not would be stupidity. Selfish because of how I feel about you." he told her. Tears were welling under his eyelids by this point again. This talk was making it more difficult for him. He had wanted to just end his life with that impulse, but now that he couldn't, his mind was beginning to grasp on to what would happen after. Maybe it wasn't a good idea. But his heart still yearned for the rock he had sharpened. To take it to his neck and metaphorically watch each and every scrambled, jumbled thought flow out of his body in a peaceful crimson tide. "Please, just let me go." he begged.
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